Our Adventure Begins
Captain Ryan was a jolly pirate, quick with a smile, his eyes constantly a twinkle at the possibility of mischief.
Legend held that Captain Ryan was descended from the great Pirate King of times long past and this Prince of Pirates was loved by many, loathed by few and feared by all.
Captain Ryan was fond of shouting ‘Tally Ho!’
He would shout ‘Tally Ho!’ whenever the opportunity arose.
He was also fond of ‘Tally Rip!’, ‘Tally Jibble!’ and ‘Tally Tally!’
Nobody knew what any of these meant.
On special occasions, or when he had achieved something rather magnificent, Ryan would not only shout but leap high into the air and perform somersaults in celebration. Needless to say, Ryan was a fun pirate to be around.
Tall and powerfully built, strong jawed and steely eyed, dashing and pony-tailed, Captain Ryan ruled the seas, dominated the oceans, navigated the wider waters and generally acted in a rather heroic fashion.
All in all life was rather splendid.
Yet there was one thing he yearned for, one thing he desired above all else, one thing that had so far escaped this Prince of Pirates … he had never found any treasure.
What was a pirate without a treasure finding adventure?
This was a question he dared not ask. He would, he could, he must find treasure, for he was the Prince of Pirates and nothing less would do.
His treasure trove was surely out there, somewhere …
Trouble on Deck
One fine summer’s afternoon as the good ship Nicetoseeyou sailed through the clear blue sea, and as Ryan worked on his swordsmanship down below deck, Stumpy, the ship’s first mate, scampered frantically down the stairs.
Stumpy was a short, chubby fellow with a big belly and a bushy beard.
Stumpy loved his beard. In fact it was his favourite thing in the world and he was very proud of it. Often when meeting other pirates they would comment on his beard, saying ‘my word, what a wonderfully bushy beard’. This made Stumpy very happy and he would smile and walk with a skip in his step for the rest of the day.
Although he was not tall or strong - or brave, or dashing, or otherwise heroic - Stumpy was well respected by all the pirates of the pirate world, for Stumpy was surprisingly smart, in fact he was widely regarded as the cleverest pirate there was. Not much of an achievement but an achievement all the same.
For now however there was trouble up on deck for this rather clever, but rather cowardly, first mate and a Captains leadership was in desperate need.
“Captain there is trouble up on deck, we need you at once!” Cried Stumpy.
“Is it important Stumpy my good man?”
“Oh yes Sir, it is important! Very important!”
“Important perhaps … but is it impressive? As impressive as this for example?” Asked Ryan before surprising Stumpy with a dazzling display of fancy footwork and swishing swordsmanship.
“Not as impressive as that Sir, but important all the same,” replied Stumpy, rather impressed but in a bit of a hurry.
“Yes, it was impressive wasn’t it,” replied Ryan. “Now … this trouble up on deck, I assume it requires immediate attention and a display of my legendary leadership?”
“Oh yes Sir, things are dire, very dire indeed.”
“Very well, lead the way my good man,” said Ryan as he replaced his sword and followed his able first mate as they bound up the stairs to face the trouble on deck.
Up on deck the sun was shining, there was a nice cool breeze in the air, a thoroughly perfect afternoon on a thoroughly perfect day and yet the mood was surprisingly far from thoroughly perfect.
The crew of the Nicetoseeyou stood angrily together. Captain Ryan could tell they were angry as there was much mumbling and grumbling and one of them threw a cup at him.
“My crew,” began Captain Ryan, deftly ducking the oncoming cup, “what brings you fellows to such a foul mood on such a fine afternoon?”
“Fine for you!” Shouted a voice from the back of the crowd. “You’re downstairs having the time of your life while we’re up here scrubbing the deck!”
“Well my good men,” said the Captain, “that is your job, why do you complain now? You all knew well and good what you were in for when we set sail five weeks ago.”
“Five weeks ago,” muttered one of the crew.
“Five weeks ago,” muttered another.
They all joined in, one after the other until soon the sound of ‘five weeks ago’ filled the air.
“What of this ‘five weeks ago’ makes you so upset?” Asked the Captain.
“Five weeks ago indeed!” Shouted a crew member. “Five weeks ago we set sail on a two week journey! We haven’t seen land, none of us have had a bath and our food is running out. We haven’t had a full meal in days!”
“Yes!” Shouted another crew member. “And today when I sat down for afternoon tea I found someone had stolen my banana!” At this point he paused to have a little cry.
“Never!” Cried Captain Ryan. “I won’t believe it. Surely there aren’t banana thieves among us!”
“The very same!” Shouted the man in between his sobs.
“Well, that is disturbing to say the least.”
The Captain paused, cleared his throat and began a speech he hoped would please the men, raise their spirits and enable them to put this sadness and general banana thievery behind them.
“Men,” he began, “I know it has been a long time since we have seen land, I know we are all beginning to smell, and I know the despair that can arise when looking forward to a delicious banana and instead finding a lone banana peel…”
As he said this the crew member who had his banana stolen began to sob even louder.
“But wait!” Cried the Captain. “For I have something to say which will surely rally us together!”
“What!” Shouted the crew.
“Well … things probably can’t get much worse, I mean, its pretty terrible right now, of that I think we can all be agreed.”
With this Ryan sharply turned and strode back down the stairs, leaving the crew standing stunned, bewildered and generally bemused.
Upon entering his Captain’s Quarters Captain Ryan stopped suddenly and issued orders to his able first mate. “Stumpy, this could be trouble. If we don’t find land soon, the men will become even more grumpy, even more hungry and possibly even more smelly. This is a time for action. Stumpy … go do something about it.”
“Ah … yes Sir,” replied Stumpy.
“Oh, and Stumpy …”
“Yes Captain?”
“I order that there be no more banana theft. Make this order known.”
“Yes Sir, very good Sir.”
With Stumpy trotting off back to the crew Ryan paced the room and thought a while. Being Captain wasn’t all sword fights and somersaults. When times were tough, when spirits were low, decisions needed to be decided, strategies sorted, plans plotted.
“Decisions, strategies and plans …” thought Ryan. “Decisions, strategies and plans … decisions, strategies and plans.” Ryan thought long and hard before arriving at a rather splendid solution, “Decisions, strategies and plans that I believe would be easier to decide, strategize and plan after a good nap.”
It was with this example of sterling leadership that Captain Ryan stretched a grand stretch, yawned a grand yawn and lay down for a good long doze.
Land Ahoy!
The next morning Ryan awoke refreshed, full of vim and vigour and ready to save the day.
“The great Captain Ryan cannot let his crew down,” muttered Ryan as he paced rapidly up and down his Captains Quarters. “Captain Ryan will rescue his men. Captain Ryan will reign triumphant. Captain Ryan will … will … Captain Ryan best hurry up otherwise the day will be through!” Encouraged by his fine words Ryan bound up the stairs two at a time, arriving on deck with a thump and a loud and rousing “Tally Ho!”
“Good gosh!” Said the nearest crew member. “The Captain sure is confident this morning, if anything he seems even more heroic than usual. How could we have doubted him? I best pass this on, for surely such news must do the rounds.”
He turned to the crew member next to him and whispered the good news. Within seconds the entire crew knew of the Captain’s jolly spirits. For good measure Ryan was leaping from here to there with a ‘Tally Rip!’ a ‘Tally Jibble!’ and a ‘Tally Tally!’, ending each bound with an awe inspiring pose, legs spread, hands on hips, chin held high.
The mood on board the Nicetoseeyou was instantly transformed.
Stumpy cautiously approached the Captain. At times of such great activity it was wise to be cautious as you could never be sure when Ryan would suddenly adjust his heroic pose, waving his arms and kicking his feet wildly in the process. Stumpy had suffered many a black eye and bloody nose learning this lesson.
“Excuse me Captain,” said Stumpy, creeping slowly toward Ryan.
“Morning Stumpy my good man!” Replied the Captain, waving his arms and kicking his feet wildly.
“What are your orders for this morning Sir?” Asked Stumpy, ducking and weaving.
Ryan immediately ceased his heroic posturing.
There was a long and awkward silence.
Ryan had forgotten one of the most important parts of dashing and ‘save the day’ type behaviour … a plan of any kind.
Fortunately the Prince of Pirates was a firm believer that it was best to act first and think only when absolutely necessary, and so without hesitation he issued his first order of the day. “Stumpy my good man,” Ryan said with an air of authority. “Fetch me the compass!”
“Yes Sir, very good Sir,” replied Stumpy, rushing off to the Captains Quarters where he quickly located the compass and raced back up the stairs to the stern of the ship, where the Ryan stood looking far and purposefully into the distance.
Captain Ryan looked long and hard into the compass and proclaimed, “Stumpy … let us go S!”
“That’s South Sir.”
“That’s South Sir.”
“What?” Asked Ryan.
“S stands for South,” replied Stumpy.
“Oh yes,” said Ryan. “Well then,” he continued in a booming voice, “let us … go South!”
“I think you’ll find you mean North Sir.”
“Pardon?”
“Well you see, you’re holding the compass upside down.”
“Oh. Well then let us … go North! Oh,wait a second …” said Ryan, turning around to look behind him. “Oh look, there’s land right over there.
