Land, Land,
Glorious Land!
Within the hour the crew of the Nicetoseeyou had reached the shore of a glorious island paradise.
There were cheers and much ballyhoo from all as the great ship’s anchor was thrown overboard. Some pirates yelled “Hurrah!”, some clapped their hands and others threw the smaller crewmembers high into the air. It was difficult to believe that only the day before all had been depressed, downtrodden and down right moody.
Captain Ryan realized that for spirits to remain high the men must be given leave to step ashore, relax, take a break from the hardships of life at sea. Usually this was a bit of a problem for a ship’s Captain, as all the men would want to visit the towns and villages, and no-one ever wanted to stay behind and keep guard. Fortunately within the crew of the Nicetoseeyou there were three pirates who suffered from ‘land-sickness’ and therefore refused to set foot ashore under any circumstances.
“Excuse me Captain,” said a fellow looking rather queasy amid all the cheering and jumping about.
“Yes Jeremy,” said Ryan.
“Kit, Cheswick and I would like to volunteer to stay and guard the ship Captain, while the other men leave and explore the … explore the … explore the …”
“Explore the land?” Interrupted Ryan.
The queasy looking fellow began to look more queasy, increasingly queasy, his knees began to buckle as he uttered an, “Oh dear!”
“Splendid idea Jeremy. You know I keep reminding myself to find a cure for your ‘land-sickness’ one of these days, but for now it all seems to work out rather nicely for the rest of us, so there it is. In fact all this talk of land reminds me of …” Ryan continued on with a rather fascinating tale but Jeremy was long gone, he had fled the moment Ryan uttered the word land.
He really was a very sick fellow indeed.
“… and that is why to this day I am suspicious of watermelon.” Concluded Ryan. “Fantastic tale, isn’t it Jeremy? Jeremy?”
“Jeremy is hiding in an apple barrel at the other end of the ship,” said Stumpy. “He really did appear awfully queasy. You didn’t mention land to him did you Captain?”
“Possibly,” replied Ryan. “Who can remember what one mentions in these troubling times. Anyway, we can’t have him hiding, what kind of impression does that send? Hiding pirates … we’ll never hear the end of it. In fact I think I’ll ask Kit and Cheswick to calm him down. Yes, I’ll remind Kit and Cheswick that since we’ve landed on land …”
“No, No, No!” said Stumpy in despair. “Captain please, I’ll deal with Jeremy and Kit and Cheswick, you must tend to the remaining crew.”
“Too true, too true,” said Ryan. “For as happy as the men are now, how much more overjoyed they will be when I give permission to go ashore. Good gosh, they really are lucky to have me.”
“Good gosh men,” Ryan said to his crew, “you really are lucky to have me!”
“We know!” Shouted the crew all together.
They were a happy crew.
All except Jeremy, Kit and Cheswick, who were not exactly upset, simply a bit queasy and in good need of a lie down.
All Ashore!
The Ship’s crew were all terribly excited at the opportunity to leave the Nicetoseeyou and explore the surrounding villages. There was much chitter and chatter as they headed off this way and that.
Remaining with Ryan were the finest of the finest, a handpicked team of the pirate elite - Stumpy the able first mate, Indigo the Strong, Swift the Speedy and Tall Frank.
They were an odd looking bunch, of that it is true. Stumpy was short, big bellied and bushy of beard. Indigo, wide as he was high, muscle upon muscle, presented an intimidating sight for even the bravest of foe. Swift stood lean and wiry, constantly at the ready to zip this way and that. Tall Frank was tall.
Tall and pleasant.
Tall and pleasant and eager to please.
Together they had bested and triumphed over all who stood before them.
They had defeated the terrifying Dragon of Thicket, reigned victorious in the great Pirate Rebellion and vanquished the terrible Screaming Choir of Thallybon.
“My faithful band of pirates,” said Ryan as he addressed his pirate elite, “let us leave this ship and look forward with eyes set on the glorious adventure that surely awaits. For together we have defeated the Dragon of Thicket, reigned victorious in the great Pirate Rebellion and … well you know, you were all there. We are a proud and accomplished pirate elite and it is with this in mind that we shall stride forth toward our next grand adventure.”
“Today’s adventure,” continued the Prince of Pirates “… gathering supplies for the ship. Not a terribly exciting adventure to be sure, but adventure all the same.”
Ryan paused, stared far into the distance for dramatic effect and concluded his grand speech. “My years of experience lead to me believe the Castle up on the hill would be a fine place to begin the search. Perhaps they will give us directions to a suitable store, or if our manners are impressive perhaps they will invite us to dinner. Either way I believe that the Castle should be our first port of call. What say you men?”
“Hurrah!” Shouted Indigo, Swift and Tall Frank.
“What say you Stumpy?”
“Very wise sir, very wise. Although …”
“So it’s agreed, the Castle it is. Onward men!” Cried Ryan.
With this Ryan, Stumpy, Indigo, Swift and Tall Frank began the tramp up the trail to the Castle on the hill.
Little did they know that this was a Castle that held much more than a dinner invitation, this was a Castle that would propel them toward their greatest adventure yet.
Confusing the Confused.
As the pirates began the tramp up the trail to the Castle on the hill they were struck by the overwhelming beauty of the kingdom.
The sky was blue, the air crisp, the sun shone bright and warm on their faces, a parrot landed on Stumpy’s shoulder, squawked “Hello there!” and fluttered off into the distance.
“Even the birds are pleasant,” commented Stumpy.
“Yes,” replied Ryan. “This surely is a welcome change to life aboard a boat.”
“Ship Sir,” Corrected Stumpy.
“Yes of course … ship. Whoever heard of a pirate ‘boat’?” Said Ryan before pausing a moment, taking time to breathe in the surroundings and marvel at the peace, quiet and all round sense of Island calm.
It really was spectacular.
“Excuse me for a second,” said Ryan as he proceeded to leap and somersault and shout with glee.
Ryan leapt and somersaulted and shouted to his hearts delight. Over and over he leapt and laughed and somersaulted and chuckled. Finally he came to rest with a final “Tally Rip!” and a clap of his hands.
“Tally Rip indeed. Well then, let’s move on. And men … as we stroll feel free to flip or perhaps cartwheel to your hearts delight.”
The men did not take up the invitation to flip or cartwheel - although Stumpy did attempt a rather awkward forward roll - for they were too busy turning their heads this way and that, admiring the majestic sights all around.
With such sights to be sighted time passed quickly and it seemed not long before they were at the end of the trail. There before them stood the Castle at the top of the hill.
It was indeed an impressive Castle, of that they were sure. Even from such a distance it had given a grand impression. Up close it was even more impressive.
The pirates were definitely impressed.
Before their eyes lay an impressive drawbridge across an impressive moat, leading to an impressive Castle gate.
“Very impressive, very impressive,” said Captain Ryan. “Well worth the hike.”
The pirates eagerly crossed the drawbridge and approached the Castle gate.
Ryan turned to his men. “Stand tall men for we must make an equally impressive impression, so as to be allowed entry into such a grand Castle.”
The Captain stood tall and proud, held his chin high and his eyebrows higher as with a loud and powerful voice he declared, “It is I, Captain Ryan, Prince of Pirates, Defeater of the Dragon of Thallybon, Victor of the Pirate Rebellion and so forth and so on. I bid entry to your grand Castle to ask directions to the nearest merchant, or to perhaps accept a dinner invitation!”
There was a long pause.
A very long pause.
Finally a hatch at the top of the Castle gate opened and out poked a bald man’s bald head.
“Enter …” The bald man sighed, “if you can be bothered.”
And enter they did, for bothered they were.
Grand adventures await on following pages ...
